GuitaristConfessions's Xanga

Everybody's Fool

Mon, 29 Jan 2007 18:25:26 GMT

As I looked at all of my subscribers for Xanga, I noticed that none of them are from IWU. There are a few that went to IWU, but none that attend at the present moment. That is fine with me, because if there were any I was going to block them just because I wanted to have a place to journal again where those that attend my school would not read.
This brings me to the point of this blog... what I used to be and who I long to be.

About two years ago, I was a freshmen at Bowman House, and it was right about at this time last year that I feel that I was at the peak of my relationship with God. You see, I had found out what it really meant to be a Christian, I cared about others more than myself. I remember it was about that same time that I was content with being single as well. (Not that being in a relationship is bad, I think Jen is one of the best gifts that God could ever give me). It was like for the first time in my life, I was satisfied with myself. Oh, of course I had my pet peeves and there were those that would occasionally upset me, but I was much better than I am now.

I look back to the time that I had my interview with Bowman House for being on the staff for my Sophmore year (which again, was right around that time). I remember one thing in particular that I told them.... "I pray for people that I don't even know. If I see someone walking in the parking lot beside me, I say 'God will you please bless them. Give them a great day, and may their classes go smoothly. May they rely on you more and more." I think that's what it's all about.

In today's world, we look for rules procedures and quick fixes and we try to apply this to our Christian walk. However, God is not a computer or problem that must be walked out. and the problem is different for each of us individually. However, if there ever was a quick fix or an easy way to become an entirely sanctified Christian, it's this... to turn one's focus from oneself to the others around. And along with this focus, to pray always for other people. This will get you far along. I mean, have you ever tried to pray for someone that you hated.... eventually it comes to a point where you no longer can push yourself to hate them.

I must admit that I am pretty bitter right now with some of the things that have happened on this campus. But in the midst of it all, I'm trying to get back on track with God. I'd ask for your prayers, but only if you want to pray for me. But more than this, I ask that you start praying for others and join me in the fight. I promise you that if you seek the good of others and pray for them (and they can be short prayers), that you will become one of God's saints. I PROMISE!

So, with this in mind, I pray that God would help get back on track. LORD, I pray that you will give me the strength to carry on, but more than for myself, I pray for those that you have put in the positions that you have designated for them. I pray that you will be with Jen as she goes to work and school today. I pray that you will give her the encouragement she needs.

I also would like to pray for my cousin Rachel. I pray that she be able to accomplish what she intends to during her second semester at Bethel. I pray that you will bless her gift of music. I also pray that you would be with her relationships including that of her room mate and her family.

I would also like to pray for Savannah LORD. I imagine she's not having the greatest time right now because she longs to come back to IWU and be in school with her friends. LORD, I pray that you will guide her into being a woman after your own heart.

LORD, be with Julie. I do not know what her needs are right now or where she stands, but you do. I pray that you would give her the peace that transcends all understanding.

Precious Jesus, I thank you for Mandi and the friendship that I have with her. I pray that she would continue to enjoy her job and that things would start to roll for her and Nathan.

LORD, I pray for everyone else and I pray for IWU. LORD, please let them feel your love. Let them know that it is possible to come to a place in this life where it is possible to not sin, where it is possible to be sanctified. LORD, I have been to that place, but Satan pulled me down with pride and selfishness. I want to get back to that place with you LORD.

Amen.

Please vote

Wed, 17 Jan 2007 20:52:06 GMT

Go to this link and vote for my picture please!!!

http://showusyourwow.msn.com/?id=13809

Bryan

If you need motivation for those papers/tests...

Wed, 15 Nov 2006 00:13:56 GMT

PILLAR LYRICS

"Bring Me Down"

You can't bring me down, you can't bring me down

Back in the day when nothing really mattered to me
I only saw with my eyes what they wanted to see
And everything around me seemed to never change
Looking for an easy way out, someone to blame
Why does it work this way, still today?
You wanna take somebody down along the way?
But I won't let that one be me, 'cause I don't want the drama it brings
See, today isn't "back in the day" anymore
I know a little more than I did before
So, don't forget before you try bringing me down
What goes around always comes back around

You can't bring me down
Do you hear what I'm trying to say?
You can't bring me down
I'll never turn the other way
You can't bring me down
What is it you're trying to say?
You can't bring me down
It's not like I'm running away

So, you think you can see inside my mind?
You probably could if you just took a little time
I know exactly what you're trying to say
But sitting in the stands ain't the same as playing the game
So, I can't comprehend in my mind
Just why we can't leave it all behind
So, come on and stand beside, and hold the line
'Cause tonight is the night we cry

Oh

Why can't we feel what it takes for us to be real?
Why can't we see what it takes for us to believe?
Why do we say all of these things that bring us down?

You can't bring me down

Finished

Sat, 11 Nov 2006 01:48:34 GMT

So, I just finished a 10 page paper in about 6 hours. That's pretty ridiculously good. But I'm going to need to do that three more times this semester.

Disaster Stricken World

Wed, 25 Oct 2006 03:07:40 GMT

Disaster Stricken World
By Bryan Lloyd
© Copyright Bryan Lloyd 2004
All Rights Reserved.

Disaster is fallin’ again
Let’s pick up the pieces and start over
Disaster is upon us
Time to start over again

When will you come to your senses
Realizin’ it’s not over yet
Society shall take the blame
This time, This time

Human deeds is a waste of time
We’re all gone before startin’
Time to stand and fulfill the call
Let’s take it to the finish line

The Human Game is just a waste of time
So give up and start walkin’
The Human game is a waste of time
Forget about scoring points

It’s a disaster Striken World
It’s a disaster striken society
It’s a disaster stricken World
Society shall take the blame

The Empty Night Sky

Sat, 21 Oct 2006 00:40:07 GMT

By Bryan Lloyd
© Copyright Bryan Lloyd 2004
Inspired by Steve Jagdharry

She turned to me and told of the night
Said there weren’t any stars in the sky tonight
I turned to her and said “what’s your point?”
“Don’t you know the stars are in the clouds?”

Girls that have no points,
Guys that are just confused,
Why do we have to play this game?
Why must we act like we’re in high school?
And I’ll never understand you,
I hope I never do
Cause I never want to be the one
To fall in love with you.
And I’ve tried to run away from all this,
I tried to hide from the pursuers that pursue
All I wanted was to live a normal life
All I wanted was to get away from you.

Bridge:
So, never play another game with me
Never play with my mind again
Because if you really loved me,
You’d be satisfied just being my friend

The question, "Should I change my major?"

Wed, 11 Oct 2006 19:26:03 GMT

Last semester and the beginning of the present semester, I've been thinking a lot about what it would be like if I didn't go into Youth Ministry. I've been looking at Computer Programming as well as Business Management and the likes. I don't think anyone could blame me. I mean pastors do not make a whole lot of money. Actually it's about 33,000 a year. That's not really a whole lot. Most professions make much more. Also, I've been thinking in the back of my mind, "Will that be enough to support my family?" and "Will I ever be able to pay my debts off and move on in my life?"
    So what have I decided? Well, I've been taking classes for mostly Ministry cause I figured I might as well complete the degree, but I've also been taking a programming class as well. Both have become hard for me at times. Last week, I vowed that I would not take another programming class because it was so difficult, but now I love it again. I just had to understand some stuff a little bit better.
    And as far as the Youth Ministry classes go, there's been times when I want to quit those as well. I mean, can I really see myself being a preacher for the rest of my life? What about for just the first decade or so after college?
    I'm reading a book for my preaching class right now, and it's bringing some thoughts to my mind. Like, "LORD, there's no way that I could ever preach every Sunday!", or "Man I could never be that great of a preacher, even if I put my full energy in it!"
    Preaching is hard, so is Computer Programming. So I've decided that I'm gonna do both. Crazy, huh? Well I heard from some guy named Keith Drury that a lot of pastors that preach solo in the smaller churches can also work another job at the same time and make a whole lot of income. Actually he said the richer pastors are the ones that are in small churches. Now hear me out, I do not want to go into ministry and live my life with the goal of being rich... well not exactly. However, I do want to be able to provide a living for my family.
    Who knows, maybe some day I'll be good at what I do and I'll enjoy constructing a sermon. You know, I think God is pretty smart for calling me into ministry and Computer Programming. I don't think it will be that bad after all.

He's my Son

Fri, 29 Sep 2006 14:39:16 GMT

Can you hear me?
Am I getting through tonight?
Can you see him?
Can you make him feel alright
If you can hear me,
Let me take his place somehow
See he's not just anyone
Can you hear me?
Can you see him?
Please don't leave him,
he's my son.

Friday, August 11, 2006

Fri, 11 Aug 2006 01:53:36 GMT

it may be your birthday
or it may be your last
as a kid you couldn't wait to get old
now the years fly by too fast
whenever
wherever
whoever you are
let it be plain
too see
no time
no place
nobody but you
will keep you from your
knees

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Tue, 01 Aug 2006 23:46:11 GMT

This summer has been quite a summer. I have had lots of fun, but I've also had my fair share of hurtful lessons. I don't know if I would redo this summer again if I had the chance or not. It would be a toss-up. But then again, I guess I would because sometimes the most hurtful lessons are the best lessons that you can learn.

My prayer is still that God would make me into the man that he wants me to be. If you want to pray for me in that area, that would be great. However, I didn't even know how many people read my xanga anymore, I've neglected it for so long. Oh well.

Well, I hope that all of you are doing great. Ryan, I haven't heard from you in a while, I've been trying to get hold of you. Mandi, I've talked to you online a couple of times, but I still miss you. Same with you Julie Salo. I've been reading your xanga updates but have not personally heard from you in a while. And to the rest of you, call me sometime... we'll talk... and talk... and talk.